After a loss, we can get hit with a huge amount of emotion and overwhelm. New and big feelings are coming up, our support systems might be shifting, we feel the pain of an empty space if our daily lives.
There are some that will try to convince you that you are not grieving correctly, or show you that your grief makes them uncomfortable. You are likely having to set boundaries in a way that you have never experienced before.
All of these factors call us into a greater practice of affirmation and reflection. It becomes necessary as you get to know the new you. Below are a few affirmations that we feel can help you affirm your unique experience, and help stand up against these difficult and complicated moments.
It’s okay to put my healing first
Do not apologize for needing time to reflect and heal. Those days when you simply cannot get off the couch are yours to have. They are necessary. They are your journey through a tumultuous time. You deserve kindness, compassion, and rest.
It’s okay to have “bad days”
We are not robots. We feel deeply and experience intense emotions. There is no right way to do this, and that means that we might not always show up the way we feel like we ought to or the way we had hoped. This is a time to have radical compassion for yourself. Leave the bad days behind you and focus on what you need for the day ahead of you
Saying no is self care
Grief is exhausting. It limits what we can give our energy to. For this reason, a practice of saying “no” will allow you to save that energy and put it towards your healing journey and the things that simply cannot wait. You can say no gently. Those who truly care about your well-being will understand and give you space.
I do not need to hide or disguise my grief
Grief becomes a part of us. It marks a sharp divide between the us of the past and the us of the present. Because of this, expressing our grief to those we trust is a way of expressing a new piece of ourselves. Some might act openly uncomfortable or convince you that you are doing something wrong. Remind yourself that those feelings say more about their own fears than they say about your actions.
I am allowed to rest.
Rest becomes one of our greatest tools as we heal after grief. Experiencing loss can leave us feeling very drained. We simply cannot give without refilling our own tank. Turn to rest as a way to make space for healing, take time to reflect, and offer the body and mind a chance to replenish.